Time
It’s time for time to lay off a bit.
Today is a big day. Little baby M is not so little anymore. She’s 10 months old. Wow. Where did the time go? On top of that, it’s big girl O’s last day as “bunny”. Tomorrow she moves on to a new preschool. I can’t believe this day is here. It seems like only yesterday she was just starting daycare. She had very little hair, had just learned to walk, to drink from a sippy cup, she had a limited vocabulary and a fair amount of baby chub left over.
Today she’s running everywhere, talking a mile a minute, drinking from a cup without a lid, wearing undies instead of diapers, and is tall and thin. She’s still tugging on my heart though, and making me smile on the daily.
To celebrate her last day we made yummy muffins to share with her friends and teachers. You have to try these muffins from weelicious.com, they are so yummy!
I’m not sure she fully gets it yet. That going to a new school means she doesn’t go to the old one anymore. She’ll figure it out soon enough though. I’m sure I’ll have a harder time with it than she will. I can’t help but notice every “last” moment we’ve had over the past week or so. This is the last time I’ll drive them both to the same place in the morning. This is the last Friday we will have all day at home. This is the last time she’ll run up that little hill in the sideyard with her bunny friends. This is the last time she’ll … and then it just breaks my heart so I have to stop with the lasts.
Man, life is hard. Parenthood is hard. I love it so much, but it is so hard.
I swear I wasn’t this emotional before being a mom. But really, I’m so grateful for it. It allows me to fully experience all the firsts, and lasts that come with this crazy, blessed job. The best one I’ll ever have.
Tomorrow it’s onto firsts. Her first lunch in a lunchbox. Her first day with new friends. Her first time hanging up her backpack on this rack. First day, new experiences and joys.
And I know she’ll be awesome. I just hope I can live up to the task of today’s lasts to allow for the joy of tomorrow’s firsts. Hopefully I will be able to collect all her gear from her cubby today for the last time without sobbing like a lunatic. But even if I do, I hope that O will know that these are good days and that transition, no matter how hard, is good. That it leads to new, exciting, and hopefully wonderful things.
In other completely unrelated news, my garden is officially dead. At least with this first I’m no longer taking it personally.And the message is clear that one of the things to let go, is the garden itself.
The passage of time. So many lessons to be learned.
(image via)
