More than another PIP post
So I know all I’ve been doing has been ranting about the lack of PIP support I’ve encountered along my travels. And for that, I apologize.
I guess it just really sucks to be confronted with a complete lack of empathy and understanding for something that should be so basic:
An infant’s right to food. A mother’s ability (personal willingness and external support included) to provide that food from her body.
I’m not asking for people to have to watch me attach plastic horns to my boobs and watch as tubes along with a really awkward sound supply suction and help extract milk from them. I’m not asking for people to, god-forbid, touch or even SEE the milk that gets expressed. I’m not asking for them to move mountains, or give me a hotel room on the cheap for 20 minutes, I’m not asking for free food, or a free ride. I’m not even asking for you to feed it to my child.
I’m simply asking for some community support and even BASIC ACKNOWLEDGEMENT that this is a natural, normal, way that we humans feed our children. And when we are not in the presence of these said children, as should also be our right, that we shouldn’t have to feel shamed, or guilted into A)Feeling as though we are bad parents for being separated from our children for a few minutes -or- B)That it is ABNORMAL to need a separate, private space to do something for my baby. And honestly, for myself. If you’ve ever gone more than 5 hours without pumping or feeding your baby, you know what I mean.
It’s truly unfortunate that as a society we know so little about this process of breastfeeding. That it takes having a child, and breastfeeding yourself, or struggling to breastfeed that brings you into the know of something so basic. Before I had kids, I thought I knew a little about breastfeeding. I was breastfed, as were my 3 siblings. I watched my sister breastfeed her children and witnessed a few friends. I thought I got it.
I didn’t know that that you had to pump to maintain comfortability and supply if you were separated from your baby. I didn’t know that society didn’t know that there are plenty of mothers out there who need the private, clean space to be able to do this.
No ma’am, why don’t you go eat your lunch in the bathroom stall. Or have your damn cigarette there, or talk on the phone, or drink your soda while standing up trying not to gulp too loudly…
Breastmilk is not a bodily fluid that needs a sewer line.
I’m gonna be honest and say I don’t know what the answer is. Our society already struggles too much with the feux pas associated with breastfeeding with your child. If hooter hiders are any indication about where we are heading with that. I don’t see them as a step toward acceptance of nursing in public. I see them as a perpetuation of the idea that breastfeeding is something to hide. I have used them. Yes. Because sometimes the anxiety that gets triggered from all the looks is a bit much for even this mostly assertive well meaning mother. But I don’t like it, and some days I’m braver than others in testing out the anxiety level and support of my community.
But honestly, I usually breastfeed in my car. And I’ve pumped there too. Because it’s quiet, and I can spend the time not worrying about protecting others from something they are so afraid of and just be, and do, something that should be so basic.
I got a few responses and support from some of you out there for what happened this afternoon and I’m thankful for you. Yes, I could go to the manager, or try again and advocate for myself. But I’m honestly too tired, and irritated, and don’t have the energy to be a champion today. I feel like my willingness to pump in the bathroom with the waaah-waaahing with women coming and going and managing my anxiety about THAT is enough for me today.
We’ll see where it takes me tomorrow.
