I can see it.
The light is starting to penetrate the darkness, of sleep deprivation, of baby dependence (which also has its joys don’t get me wrong- just a different kind of light, the kind that comes in from underfoot and warms the toes.)
I can see rays of light as they stream in the tunnel as though making it past tiny cracks through a window blind, highlighting the carpet below.
The baby is sleeping in her bed, the whole night through.
I’ve cleared out the closet and given away the baby gear that we no longer need.
I’m feeling free to schedule dinners out with friends, and date nights away with the hubs.
Teeth are finally making their way through baby M’s little gums.
She’s signing, and expanding her verbal vocabulary.
I can see vacations in our future.
I’m down to two nursing sessions a day. One at night, one in the morning.
I’m making one meal for the family.
The baby clothes are accounted for, given to others who need it more.
The freezer finally has room for frozen foods, no longer needing space for breastmilk storage.
I never have to pump in a bathroom, in an airport, ever. again.
The light. I can see it.
And it feels great.